Hi Awein,

Thank for you posting this controversial topic which is now one of the causes of the family break down facing us here in the western world, But according to our values that we still need to maintain despite all the other aspects of western cultures that are wrecking havoc to our culture, for the woman to be in the kitchen according to my perception and as tradition dictate does not imply enslavement of the women by the men, but only a division of the work in the family, that is to say  if the men is out as a breadwiner then the women automatical has to look after the childern and cook for them.

Besides, there is a big confusion here in differiating the roles that women should have to play with rights that have been preached to womens by the women rights activists especially with our womens that have seen themselves as objects of exploitation by men for ages, therefore to our women I advise you to cooking as a role but not a kind of slavery.

However, when coming to western world or modern world in general where women and men provide to the needs ofthe family equally then for the men to be in the kitchen is not a sin because a man will still remain man wether he is in the kitchen or not.

Like for example, in the case the women is working and man is not then, it is unfair for the man to wait for the women from to come and cook and therefore advise the men to do the necessary in such a case.

thanks

Fidele mareng

Hello Awein Anei,

"Where do you all think women should be?"

It is an excellent question and I hope most men will give you some possible answers because it is a challenge to them. I believe women should go to parliament and military and do other things if they have capacity to do them. The whole blame, in my mind, is on our culture which doesn't allow women to perform other duties besides cooking and nurturing of children. Though it is a fundamental fact God has created woman and man physically and morally different. I think we men should try to give women freedom to participate at every level as far as community issues are concerned, this will help them (women) to raise their faculties and capacities beyond what they are currently doing. Peronally, I want women to have the same opportunities in their lives as we men do. I believe women deserve equal opportunities to education as men so that our families, communities, societies, and nations could achieve better futures. Most men in Dinka culture today believe women have the same ability as men to tremendously shape our economic, political, and social futures if given opportunity to do so. The past collosal misconceptions that women were nonassertive, indecisive, dependent, pessimistic, less important, less courageous, and weak character are not the guiding principles anymore. The current contemporaries are trying to make our communities more broadly accommodating so that every human has an opportunity to participate and equally important enjoy his/her rights and priviledges with no exception.

However, I am opposing the current tendency of women who want to share cooking with men. It is not ridiculous but I would ask women to do that job because most of the men are not experts at doing it. We men like things which are more pysical and not things which require fine details as cooking. Another important thing is that, taking care of small children is the responsibility of the women and that is why women always find themselves cooking because they are most of time with small kids, who would at any time ask  "Mama" we are hungary. This situation makes women do cooking more often than men. Therefore, the issue of sharing cooking has no room in Dinka culture, not we men don't like but because of the fact women are extremely better at nursing than men make it difficult for men to participate in it.

Peace

Thanks,

Garang Aher

Dear Awein Majok,

First let me welcome you aboard sister,

"The funniest thing was at the end of the meeting they ask the women to go and help preparing the food, hey we are not in the 18th century."

Ma'am,

you are so amusing indeed. I can't stop laughing. I guess you might be the courageous young lady that stood up demanding to be heard. 

Just Like Francis Bok said, infact I was pertubed by the label of treatment we still accord women in Aweil when the organizer at the Aweil conference turned a blink eye to women who put their hands up for the entire conference.

We need to realize that women are fundamental part of society and their contribution should not be underestimate. If I were to share my heart with Aweilians, then I would suggest that we try to let women represent us in post war Southern Sudanese parliament.

So Awein, women place is no longer kitchen but in the decision making body. After all kitchen might be new to folks still at home in Aweil, but for us in the western world, if bomb is planted in the kitchen, then it will go off in seconds with both casualties of both men and women.

So once again welcome to the forum and keep on reminding this male charvanism society the significant of women being included in the decision making body.

Thanks,

Dhor Arol.

Dear Awein,

Thank for your fantastics topic which you brought up, we all learn through mistake and ought to be told intime, however, to air my commend  although we are in Western countries whereby kitchen is turn by turn three-quarters of us came here while having clue of good and bad of our culture is therefore we should be abide and monitor by our culture background and wait for our children to inherit this white's culture.

Furthermore, there are conditions which sometimes force men to urnate while sitting down as says goes in such a case man can cook doesn't mean is sharing with his partner I might stay with my partner and happen to give birth while our neighors are all white men/women what can I do,!! I have to cook for couple of days or weeks until she joins me. Anyway just to give my opinion and the fact is that we should cook when there is condition and our sisters have to respect us incase of any differ later which sometimes result to abusive please keep kitchen aside.

Dave Mayen.

Dear Ms.Awien Anei,

Like other Aweil sons/daughters, as well as some other members of this forum, who are not necessarily from Aweil, I must first welcome you to this board. The question you have raised regarding our treatment of our women, is not only in the best interest of our women, but also to our society in general. Before I start commenting on the issue in question, I would like to make some few points of some general importance, not necessarily concerning what had transpired in the recent Aweil Community Annual Conference, held in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

Like Tong Deng, I must reiterate and admit the fact that, cooking is not part of what should appear to be women rights item – it is a family arrangements of a given family. Tong might have said this from the point, not of a mere knowledge but of experience. In Africa rural areas, every family had to divide-up their day-to-day job amongst various members of the household. Women weren’t forced to take-up cooking for the sake of itself – they have chosen it from other hard jobs, such as cutting woods for erecting the house, protecting members of their families and clans from outside aggression etc. There are other functions which were hard for women to perform in the rural life. In the city, I am afraid I have not seen one in the South, and therefore would want to avoid comparison. The equivalent to this, was that before the invention of an hydraulics-driven-car the women used not to drive the 7 tonne lorry, and they weren’t necessarily prevented by men to do so. It was in the 1970s when the power-stirring- driven cars were invented to the benefits of both sex, and the rights in question became well-observed. I am not suggesting the women are weak, in case of any misunderstanding – I am fair and tend to remain fair to my fellow human beings of the opposite sex.

In politics, and here we go in answering the question of “Why on earth the men of Aweil in their recent conference, could have not realized the realities of the Millennium?”. First, the answering to this question can not be arrived at, without addressing the history of how the gender-inequality became a global issue. It is still a problem in Britain, the first country on earth to enfranchised women. Likewise, it is still a problem in America, the strongest democracy on earth. It is still a problem in India the largest democracy on earth, albeit the women had already ruled the men with iron pest. What are the problems the lay peoples may still need to address? And from whom should our question be addressed? Is it to the men, even if those men do not hold any political power? If there are few women, whose luck or excessive ability had brought them to be decision makers of a given nation at given time, yet the women still underdog – Do we need to address question to those women in power, such as the Presidents, of Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Ireland, Philippines who are females, or to Queen Elizabeth II the head of State to a good number of Countries, such as UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, ect, or to Queen of Netherlands, or Denmark, or Belgium? The answer to these questions, is the answer to the question of inequality in gender. Not to make my comments long and hence becoming monotonous, I will leave these to questions for your answers in the due course. Of course South Sudan is just a backwater entity that had no comparison to any nation, for it is fighting to get its identity. Before such identity is given, or taken if necessarily, it is hard to talk of the right of a given groups. The change in social hierarchy, is effected, by the change in the political settings ( though not always obvious to lay men).  

For what had happened to our women in Kansas, it was not only a matter that, our Aweil community are still turning a blind-eye to their women, they had committed a procedural suicide. Thought, I did not had a chance to go to America for that conference, of which I had love to be one of its participants, I am squarely in solidarity with our women, for the unfair treatments they were subjected during that conference. Conference, as its meaning seems to imply, is a gathering of people who are connected by the common cause, in order to solve things that would be impossible for individuals to solve them. It is not meant for creating problems. Clearly, the way our women were treated, did not meet the standard required from the men living in the millennium. I am not suggesting we had to solve the problems of gender-inequality at one go – as solving it requires the government of the day to give some concessions, but there must be pressure somewhere from those who are aware of some rights being infringed by the state. In bulk the question of gender inequality, at point may cease to become a matter between men and women, but of state and those who thinks their rights are ignored. Between women and men, there is a mutual tolerance – as men tend to have their partners as women, they always do it through developing mutual understanding, before the marriage of convenience take place. Therefore, any mistreatments following the marriage, shall not be a matter that could be referred to the controls by men. Tong, had said, and I am totally inclined that “cooking” may remains in some household, a matter for the women. Given, the fact that some women wants to maintain it.

As women, are the guarding dogs of their families, they always had this as their advantages in the event of the marriage failure, when the question of children best interest is involves. In UK, some women had mistaken women rights for that of total neglect of a God-given duties, i.e. the duty for a woman to care for her children, simply because there is a slogan of women rights somewhere in the logos. However, to the dismay of those who had thought the land was fertile for them to grew higher, it is miraculously obvious that, some women in Britain had even thought that men had controlled kitchen for more than necessary – and therefore they are seeking another women rights of Kitchens. The only victims of this transitions of what is called “women right” are poor rural populations of Europe, the mother of the idea. The worse still, the most victim are those refugees who had converged on Europe and America for Resettlement, who could not reconcile their own cultures for that of individualist Europe and America. Yet, the real advocate of those rights, are returning, fortunately voluntarily this time, to the life where the husband and wife stay beyond close doors – outside the reach of women rights activists. In South Sudan, even lay men had no rights of participations, leave alone that of their dears wives. It is highly expected, that the women and men should first fight for their civil rights, before fighting for a branch of those other rights. But men, look at what is the day-day life in the countries of your sanctuaries and adapt it accordingly. It was too much you overlooked your women abilities.

Kind Regards.

Ateny Wek Ateny

London, England.       

   Dear, Mrs /Miss Awien Anei

                      Nothing like you to be Mading Aweil Disscussion Board and therefor, I highly welcome you on behave, of commitee member and Aweilains as in whole.Before i go ahead with my question or comment first I wanted konw from you, where you live? as in whole and I gonna state the life in the country where you long to. and let me put some example of Country as follows Australia,Aisa,Africa,Canada,Great Britain,America as in whole.furthermore I waiting for your feedback and i say welcome again to aboard and be the best,

                                 Goodman Garang Tong

Hello, Sister Awein,

Your question about the right Women in our Society is in place. I reckoned there are a lot of changes which are taking place now in our Society either in War torn Southern Sudan or in diaspora. I know when was your last time in Southern Sudan? When I visited Southern Sudan in 2001, I felt with some changes actually in terms of gender representation and I hope for more changes by the way.

Secondly, what will grantee this gender representation in South or in new the Sudan for that matter, is we people by changing the life style our people through education. Otherwise, we will stuck because our do not accept changes some times quickly due their traditional beliefs. Anyway your point had made a complete sense to me in particular. May God bless you Sister we need ladies like you in anyway in how.

Thanks

William Deng Bol.

Greeting to Mrs. Awein.

You are not any more in the kitchen and nothing to blame men for. labor division was behind the fact that the women do the household jobs and men in the farm, that was the past. here come the time for a woman in southern Sudan to work as a clerk, office manager, secretary of whatever position, president and other cabinet positions in an organisation or government. no man will take an action to send you to the kitchen with high scool diploma, and a degree it will never, never happen.

I am encourage you to compaign to women to come out and do what it take to be somebody. american women were like the rest of Africa women before, but they came out and fought for their rights and they made it successfully. you have to come out there and fight for your right. Don't expect us to spoon feed you, otherwise you will be staying in the kitchen for the rest of centuries to come.

tanks

Fidele Diing