can we support our girls?

acid anei · Intermediate Contributor

can we support our girls?

Penhdit · Beginner Contributor

Hi Awachdit,

Thank you so much for down loading this article in our web. However, I actually, myself went through it before coming to our board. It is unfortunately full of ambigous informations.It stated that lostboys ran away from their country because they were terrifying the conscritption from rebels and militias . But the columb did not expound whether they fled the Norhtern or Southern insurgence or malitias recruitment.

So, it is indeed difficult to try which way to help the lostgirls. Nevertheless, it was good to know.

Thanks,

Tino.

acid anei · Intermediate Contributor

dear tino,

thank for your overwhelming comment or response. i know it's quite difficult to help those lostgirls. but we should rise this point if there is any gethering like what happen in washington DC two years ago,such as reunion of lostboy where a lot human right are involve.

thank

awachdit anei

didhan · Beginner Contributor

How would you help someone who will refused to go back to her own country.

I have red the articles, but what they were fearing was not being lost, but being sold to marriage or force to marry a man they don,t want.

Who will do that, have you seen this practice before in fyour amily, if not don,t support these girls. you met few and you have seen their attitudes here in US, and what will a girl with no family background be like here. Girls are they most care for in Sudan, they have more protection than men do. who was protecting their mothers before they were born or before this very confusing war.

Nobody is lost, if you believe so, I don,t. Nothing work with no planning. "ALL HUMAN ARE BEHIND THE BETTERMENT OF THEIR LIVE". you don,t plant and expect zero harvesting. Another man waste is another man wealthy. so remember that you are your country's waste and wealth to another country's wealthy. your manish look made you touched this great land as the called it, but who made this land great...............

Fidele Diing

Atem · Beginner Contributor

Thanks Acid Anei, Fidele and Tino,

Thanks again for supporting girls demand or claimalation of their rights and protection while home. However, i can't forget appreciating brothers Fidele and Tino, for opposing girls claim for protection because they are both intelletual and i guess they know what they are opposing.

Now that i have known the side of Fidele and Tino, what do the rests think of girls claim as lost girls? To my point of view girls deserve equal treatment as boys , they have right to claim for their status as lostgirls. Am sure if not guessing that, the suffering lostboys have undergone is the same agony that girls had underwent some twenty years ago of struggle. I knew all along that dear brothers, want the best for girls but not themselves only, but to my surprise and shock here emerge some guys who wish the best for boys only. Who among you have ever eaten a soup without salt in it, how did it taste? Girls are your counterparts therefore, anything affecting them can affect a sensible or rational man.

I wonder why our community blame girls, when they fall out of schools, and something very ironical is that the same guys who catalysed their failure in schools are the first in blaming them. Am sorry that some of our brothers seem not to be open minded enough to the world's development and ideologies. In which nations among the developed countries do men want the best for themselves without considering girls or women? be honest and answer this question beloved brothers. Am always proud of you and want the best for you. Who spoiled girls, do girls get spoiled without guys involving in it? Are girls the only people with bad credits in North America, Australia among others?. How many girls are in jails in these countries currently? Good politicians always think rationally when debating a certain issue, beware that nomore, one sided government exist in this planet. Am afraid that our country might never get develop if this attitude towards women or girls is not eradicated.

Why do philosohers say that to every man's success there is a woman behind it? Did they lost their minds while researching on that? Or do we want to reverse it? Girls coming to western countries mean alot of changes in their lives that, is having good learning facilities for those who will be interested in learning, medical care, good living standard if they work hard. But their coming does not mean a thing in terms of cultural change or behaviours. Success only comes when one is very much determined believe me or not, all guys never make it through but only those with focuse.

loves girls as you love youself, then development and peace will come by themselves.

Thanks,
Ahok Atem

mayikaher · Major Contributor

Ahok Atem,

Thanks but don't get tough on us (men).

I will respond to you sometimes this weekend.

Thanks,

Garang Aher

didhan · Beginner Contributor

How are you doing Ahok Atem, I hope that you are to the best of your health.

Pertaining reaction to the articles containing the conversation between our lostgirls and the western journalist, I have not denied the facts that their are lostgirls of Sudan. Infact, there are few. But the key issue is the "protection" they need when they went back home. does it not sound illogical, it does. infact, we have undergone all sufferings with the girls and as well those who are nonlost. Status of being a lost sound awkward to me and bother me a lot even in my daily tasks. People don't go fishing just to waste fish or because fish don't have a right of living in water, they fished it for a reason. This name lostboy was on the table for years being talked about by the international communities. The name was taken into consideration after the lostboys or the red army stated a very reasoning objective, and that was "EDUCATION" one of the important thing that convinced some of us to be here today in the western world.

Ahok Atem, I can tell you today that we are one team who suffered under one caused, therefore a girl or a man from Southern Sudan will not support anything that will undermine someone's right. The girls' conversation to the journalist was very much related to the family issues. they didn't even mentioned something beneficial to themselves like school.

No black man ever is blame to be behind slavery, but these girls are expposing to world the non-existing act in southern Sudan, which I don't appreciate. they are telling the world that women are treated in Sudan like slaves, this is what they convey here in this articles.

Yes, you have known my side, but I am advising you to turn it to positive.

Last December, youngest brothers of mine call me from inside Aweil town, asking me for school fees. I asked them why they need money for and school is free, they said only girls attend school without school fees. That means if men inside sudan have courage of girls' rights to do the best of their life and be treat equally or more than men, why not me who lived where everybody have equal rights. In my previous posting, I did wrote that "NOBODY IS LOST" I was not refering to lostgirls, but to all of us including the well known lostboys of Sudan.

Lastly, I am not responsible for any girl's catalysation, I am a pure young guy.

Thank you very much, may God Bless you and your spirit for women rights, and may God bless great nation of Sudan and as Aweil people.

Thanks

Fidele Diing.

Mabior Isaac · Intermediate Contributor

there is misunderstanding here in this artical, Fidele and Tino were expressing their feeling according to my understanding. they were not against girls right in Southern Sudan. what matter in the artical, was the facts that some girls refuse of going back to Sudan. Yes those girls have right to refuse not to go back to Sudan without betraying Sudanese culture to westerners. I believe that each one of us girl or boy proud of home. there is nothing like home, home is always your idenity. I run out of time I will come back for this topic this weekend.

didhan · Beginner Contributor

"I am sorry that some of our brothers seem not to be open minded enough to the world's development and ideologies"

I did response while ago to give you time to understand what I was trying to say and I hope you did.

"think before you leap" is the point here, and therefore, I should expect more apologies to be pouring in from you to the members of the board not only me or Tino or whoever wrote. your reactions are so sensitive to the point that will create more tensions on this very board. I am expecting you to at least say something that will please me and the rest, otherwise my awaiting heartly pumping reply will burst everything.

I have reply you in a patientness, but I am hurt.

Thanks

Diing Dhan Diing/Fidele

mayikaher · Major Contributor

Fidele Diing Dhan,

Please, you might have been hurt but don't take it seriously. Wait for what the rest of the board members will say concerning her (Ahok) article and UNHCR REPRESENTATIVE'S.

Ahok Atem was trying to represent the voiceless women though she did it inappropriately.

Thanks,

Garang Aher

Aluel Wek · Beginner Contributor

Dear Ahok,

Keep it up, girl! You've written quite well and we are mightily impressed. Atong and I are busy with exams at the moment but we appreciate that you are holding up the female voice.

Well done.

Aluel

mabbul · Beginner Contributor

Hi everyone,

I think this is not about equality. It is not about human rights. But it is about the betterment of South Sudanese, men and women alike. If we think the west is good for boys, why can't we also let girls make use of the same opportunities? Yes some girls, just like some boys, will get spoiled. But such a number is everywhere be it in Africa or west! Should we negate this golden opportunity just because of a minority?

Apparently what those oppose to girls' resettlement imply here is that they would flock to Africa, marry and leave their wives there. Then sending money to africa shows that they are caring husbands. I don't think that is the best way to go.

Ahok,

That is a tremendous work. You cried, pleaded and even yelled at some point, as means of driving your point home.

Atem · Beginner Contributor

Dear brothers and sisters Sudan,

Thanks to everyone who had responded to my article, however, i should warned whoever expects my apology to the board or himself/herself that am not gonna apologise, but first look at my arguement very critically and try to get reality out of it.

To brother Fidele, thanks man for the debate its really cool and amazing. Whatever thing i wrote had a though before writing. Am exactly responding to your attitudes toward girls, there is no way you could denied that. And to proved this, in the article: WHY COME BACK TO AFRICA FOR MARRIAGE POSTED BY DAVID DENG KAK. Here is what you said, "coming back to marriage a girl that will endure the marriage, a girl who is not aware of September, the 11". This proved your true attitude towards girls education and well being. You wish to marry a girl who will not know how to differentiate what is suppose to be her right and what is not suppose to be her right, thus taking advantage of innocent being.

Coming back to the issue at hand, here is what proved your view on girls claim for protection, "How would you help someone who will refused to go back to her own country. Don't support these girls. You met few and you have seen their attitudes here in US". All in your mind was just for boys to get resettlement in western countries and have best education and then go back to marry girls who have not known of September, the 11. I have a doubt that, it might never work as you had expected. You and Isaac had said something to do with culture betrayal and even denying that girls are not being mistreated in Southern Sudan. Be informed that, Global culture was the same some thousands years ago. Therefore, we don't need to be ashamed of exposing our true culture, even these developed nations had the culture just like our culture, before they had revolution. The same revolution that had saved western women some thousands ago, should save Sudanese women.

When rational guys debate over important issues in a nation-state no one ever use the term "hurt" or "disappointed" when another person drive touchy point home. Therefore, we have to forget about being hurt and lets find out what is right and best for our people. Am so much proud of your intelligency and smartness when coming in discussing important issues.

Thanks,

Ahok Atem

mayikaher · Major Contributor

Dear all,

I think it is a time for guys to remove their roadblock so that the women could go to white house. They are now supporting the view of their counterpart, Ahok Atem. I could tell that they [women] are on their own feet.

It is interesting.

Thanks,

Garang Aher

mayikaher · Major Contributor

Catherine Ahok Atem,

Given the fact that a multitude of girls are wandering without education in South Sudan, what do you think could be done to mitigate or reduce that level of illiteracy amongst them?

Thanks,

Garang Aher

Achier Albino · Beginner Contributor

Interesting folks. I don't even know what side to take. I however think that Ahok does have a point. This is because it seemed to me she supported her stand well. Fidele, when I read your posting, I thought it wasn't a good thing to say don't support these girls. I may be wrong in case you used it in a context that I don't understand but the way I understood as I read it would be in line with how Ahok have responded. I will hold my responses for now. We will keep watching though to see what shape the discussion would take.

Ahok, you are introducing radical changes here it looks like. Garang mentioned before, you shouldn't be hard on people or tough for that matter. We got to move slowly girl.

Fidele Diing, you said your brother call you and say they only allow girls free education and not boys? I wonder why they will do that. I mean equality in terms of people getting education doesn't mean screwing some people. If the school is a girl school, then it will be reasonable but if it is suppose to be for everyone, then they shouldn't do that.

Anyhow, let see how that is gonna go.

Atem · Beginner Contributor

Dear Garang Mayir,

Thanks for this pretty incredible question, i think it is a kind of question that can be answered by both men and women of the south. The reason is, no success or a change that can come without unification of ideas and actions. And that mean, men should try hard to bring girls/counterparts up however difficult it might be. Lets women rights made known to them diplomatically, and let them also know what are men's rights. Am sure if this happen then there will be no women high illiteracy in the south.

Thanks,

Ahok Atem

Atem · Beginner Contributor

Hey Albino Achier,

Thanks for support and correction, i don't think if am really tough on you guys, i love you and proud of you, how will the world look like without combination and cooperation of both guys and girls. Life will be of no fun if one sex is omitted.

Thanks,

Ahok

Kuot Kuot · Major Contributor

Brothers and sisters,

You seem to be having interesting discussion here but may I request each one of you to not take this debate personally. This contentious issue: women’s position in Dinka’s cultural setting is something too broad to be narrowed down into individual level. I mean it is a societal predicament which requires a particular attention from the wider society.

Having said those few remarks, allow me to throw in a comment or two onto the topic in question. To start with, I won’t personally look at this whole thing in the context of resettlement, in that girls in the camp (s) and majority of other southern Sudanese are not longer eligible for resettlement programs since peace has finally come to the land-Sudan. This doesn’t however mean that there are no issues of major concern that still need to be addressed. The matter raised by the girls in Kakuma camp, for instance, is a very legitimate one.

There is no reason denying the fact that our culture has never been truly fair to women. Dinka culture is for the most part oppressive particularly to women; there should be no argument about that. Unfortunately, we Dinka people have historically taken pride in what are seemingly some of the most ridiculous and primordial cultural practices there are, as being among the best components of our culture. Off course, every group of people will always take pride in their culture, but I think we Dinkas seem to forget the law of "dynamism." Nothing whatsoever is static and so is culture; everything changes with time. Shouldn’t it be time for us to reconsider some elements of our cultural practices? Farther, Dinkas are quick to argue that whatever we do is cultural so nothing should be done about it/them, com’on, not everything that is cultural is good as my high school teacher used to say. There are way too many cultural practices that are literally barbaric but we will hardly eradicate them as per our mind set.

As a matter of repetition, girls in Kakuma camp have actually raised a very legitimate concern. This can be argued from the point of view that our girls have highly been “commodified.” They are seen in terms of “commodities” ready to be sold off at any moment notice as opposed to being independent human beings entitled to individual rights and freedom. This is done in the name of family enrichment. Sadly enough, someone somewhere will tell me “hey man! you are being hypocrite, have you “decommodified” your sisters? You are just brain-washed by the Western world in which you live…” This is our biggest problem; our society will remain in subsistence level for ages unless we change our attitudes towards women. Women make up half of our population (in fact they constitute larger percentage currently in Sudan), how in the name of hell can we progress if this half of the population together with children and aged people do not economically contribute because of their lack of better tool of production-education?

In my opinion, two things make the girls’ claim valid. Firstly, girls in refugee camps will be seen at home as a little bid educated, fairly well-versed with most issues, “town girls”, et cetera. This will make them ultimate targets for well-to-do men at home. Put it differently, they will face grim chances of early and indeed, forced marriages. Secondly; as a result of the above mentioned realities, their home-going will irrefutably put their educational pursuits on the line. How will the society and the UN which they are appealing to, address their apprehensions? I think this is the question we need to give a critical look instead of us taking the issue personal.

I think the girls did a recommendable job by bringing up their fears this very early; the ball now rests squarely on the would-be GOSS. Since Southern Sudanese have finally realized the importance of affording education to both boys and girls, they GOSS and the wider society will be expected to work quickly to curb both forced and early marriages so that girls may be able to continue with their studies. GOSS should come up with strict measures to protect girls from cultural oppression and encourage parents to send both their sons and daughters to school without any act of discrimination which had always been the case. The Dinka’s long held view that education given to girl is a waste of family resources since her education will not benefit the family but that of her husband’s, doesn’t hold water, it must be challenged. I should end this comment by noting that, girls in Kakuma should be appreciated for standing up for their rights but they should also be advised that, they should not push for resettlement as there is no legal ground for their case. Culture is human made and so it can be dismantled just as it was made. I am not familiar with an international law that would legalize resettling “culturally oppressed group”.

Dear A.Atem,

I understand your frustration; you do expect most of us who in the course of time have been able to acquire some level of education to think outside our cultural boundaries. I know it is painful for you considering the fact that most of our girls and particularly those that you once knew will hardly complete secondary education, let alone college/university education. But I will advise you not to let your emotions overshadow your great argument. Hammer your point home with some degree of diplomacy and you will definitely win more allies. I think Diing Dhan is not against our girls’ education. His point of view, in my reading of his article, is similar to my argument that girls are not longer qualified for resettlement programs and so are the boys. I think problem resulted from how Diing presented his viewpoint but that is totally ok, we all have different ways of putting our points across. So take it easy on Diing. Otherwise I truly appreciate your courage to stand up for your sisters.

Brother Diing Dhan,

If I understood you correctly, then you are not against girls’ welfare per se, but your argument is that, there is no reason why one should seek resettlement instead of going home particularly when there is peace in the country. This is exactly what I addressed above. But I must beg to disagree with your contention that forced marriage is something unheard of in Dinka community. I hope you are not an alien to Dinka culture, you know Dinka culture in and out just as most of us do. Let me drive this point home by asking you a question: what happen in a situation where a girl is contested over by, let’s say four suitors? In such a situation and from what I know, a girl’s say doesn’t count at all, it is mainly elders who make their own choice among the four contestants basing their decision on such factors as family background of the suitors, the amount of wealth each one of them has, their manners just to name but three. Will you tell me that girls who are being contested over by many men are ever allowed to make their own choices? So brother Diing, let’s not deny the obvious, let just admit our cultural failings, then accept the responsibility to collectively rectify such weaknesses.

Paradone me everyone for my long article, I just found the topic a little more interesting, hence the length of my article. I must leave it here for others to throw in their views. Stay healthy.

Kuot Kuot.

-- Edited by Kuot Kuot at 02:34, 2005-02-25

santino Ajith · Major Contributor

Dear brothers and sisters of Southern sudan,

First and foremost, I would like to apologized for taking too long to response to this debate. My silence does not means anything all, I am very impressed and over excited over the debate because each side had concrete points and evidence to give to the other side. So I felt that my points to give on each side has been said by the first writers. I like the debate but I want it to proceed ahead with some degree of diplamacy and understanding amongst ourselves as my brother Kuot Kuot put it across.

Hey Guys

Like kuot Kuot said, our culture is indeed so strick on girls and women, agree or disagree with me, there is no way we can deny it. Let us not be bias on this notion. What I do believe is, we have to find some commonalities to solve them and allow changes to take place gradually as Albino Achier pointed out. I know that gender issues are not easy ones to deal with but with better cooperation and understanding, we can do it and finally suprise ourselves with our products at the long run. So my pieces of advice here is that let's stick to the topic by accepting some wrong and rights on each side so that we can find some common grounds to cmpromise on them.

Men

Don't label some of us as feminists or liberal. The fact is, we have to accept women rights in south sudan so they can compet with other global women in this developing planet. I am sorry for any inconveniences my advise may cause on either side. I like the debate, please go ahead with it with some degree of understanding and respect and refrain from personal attack noted out early by Kuot Kuot.

Applause

Santino Bol Ajith

Mabior Isaac · Intermediate Contributor

Dear all,

I enjoy reading your ideas about this interesting topic, make it alive. I will give you my views later this weekend. Ahok Atem you are so amazing in this debate keep it up and your voice will be heard. thanks I will come back to you later.

Kijana Dhor · Intermediate Contributor

Dear all,

Although Iam kind of contemplating to contribute on this controversial topic, I got courage to weight in my ideas as far as the issue at hand is concerned. First let me hit on the issue of Southern Sudanese ladies good at escapegoating their left behind in everything on men.

When we were in Kenya, I believe we did get equal access to school but the girls chose to spend their valuable time on making themselves more attractive to men in savcos other than down on books. The consequences are more men got scholarship to Canada, Australia and many Universities in East Africa. Could that be blamed on Men? I will leave that for my friend Ahok to answer. But before that, I guess the answer she will give me.

Now again the society is tilting unfairness to men who are abligated to pay millions of shillings to parents for bride. To girls, the agony of these men seen an isolated case for them and have no impact, but tell you what, you dads and mums are giving another token to give life to continuity of man domineers on women. This practice has put stain on an institution of marriage which was socially nurturing on both parties to commercial aspect where value override other aspects considered in marriage. It is sad that I had never seen girls protesting this practices.

So women have stake in their flight and playing the game of blame is not gonna help the situation but to reset the course and develop strong convictions as demonstrated by few ladies who are trying to prove to their counterpart that live has no barriers for men and women. If some are talking of issues like cooking, laundry....etc, isn't suffice to say that you are frustrating the very same effort? The focus should be on big things like employment, education, leadership...etc.

Another issue I find troubling with our women is how will they develop their independant intelligent to fashion their own directions instead of coping success that work totally in different place and place it in our environment hence making it alien to their strategy. Feminism has no universally definition or common mode but develop differently. Making gender equality in Southern Sudan as replicate of Western fashion is completely impractical and not feasible at all. That model works well with sustaining western's fabrics derive from their moral values and was not created out of blue as seems to be the case here with some Southern Sudanese ladies.

didhan · Beginner Contributor

Back again.

Thank so much Ms Ahok for your standing point for the right of women in Sudan. Not all humans are perfect, we are the same species of annimal eventhough we are rational. I am so sorry for blocking the leaflets right for migration of women to western world. The logistic we have put on hold for women right of migration will soon be sign off for you to come to the west. you will be coming soon to enjoy all kinds of freedom here in USA and as well other places you think you have been denied access to.

I believe peolple of united states endorse not only equality of conditions but equality of opportunities. your talent and effort will make you women's activist if you ought for American women not African. I do communicated with you in appropriate language with the knowledge behind my mind that your disputes were motivationally directed toward women rights in sudan, but I realised afterward that you are encouraging women migration out of sudan to escape mistreatments from men.

Come they are waiting for you in multitudes. they have already heard of dark skinny tall girls of sudan. tall women are believe to be more attractive, just a thought.

It is very early to blame a man from southern sudan who have just recovered from combat mission. We are slaves of slave. Side-by-side not one side government. we men of southern sudan have not participate in any constitution law since sudan inception of power from British and Egypt. Vice is the only position southern sudanese wrestle to achieve since. we only waged war to free ourselves from slavery. Blame me only for taking my sword and fight the arabs leaving you uninform. men were fighting the enemy, your war should have been taking pens and go to schools. yes we have been suffering together, but a load was too heavier on one side.

I hope your relatives are not tried of you. many girls like to be in stage of rambling, but it will soon be granted to you. go rampage if you think you are being oppress. your campaign toward women rights will be treat by feminists as rake-off and fragile process unless you have to objectify your obligations concerning feminism.

What brand will I give to someone who don't want me to come back home and marriage. have we totally move to west, I think we didn't. I love my people and I am coming back to them no matter what. If you are dreaming of becoming human right activist, I am advising you to find this book somewhere in the library "I have a dream" I have a dream is a very motivationally speech given by Dr.Luther King refering to two races during slavery in America. Get that book, enrich yourself with the language that someone conveying a power message should apply. And I believe you will win.

Convince sudanese before you convince the whole world. 2 million are dead in the war between south and north and 70000 more have perished in western sudan, and who is rescuing them. knowing/understanding women suffering in sudan, will be much better than making the external world aware. what are you yelling at me for, I didn't do anything.

Be carefull with your new organization of feminism, but don' put our beliefs and values into jeopardy in the eye of whole world, that is my concerning issue here about your articles between you and white lady.

They are still wearing blouses in USA, don't let them fool you with their chunky pants.

Hey!! State your feminist in understandable atmosphere, otherwise your plans are going to be objectable.

Peace!

Fidele Diing

mayikaher · Major Contributor

Ahok Atem,

Would the mission of enlightenment or orientalism be more successful if the concerned individuals, South Sudan's leadership, and UNHCR representative combine their efforts to provide abundant education opprotunities to the girls in South Sudan, other than encouraging resettlement? I guess this mission would be more successful if the education opportunities are provided in South Sudan to every girl. I am not against the girls' resettlement; however, I am trying to point out what would give more girls opportunity to learn and discover the truth themselves rather than being told of self-liberation, self-recovery, and self-awakening. I am well aware that women are great people gifted with wonderful abilities, but how can we make these neglected and perhaps dominated women discover truth and use in their daily life? Would it not be through enlightening the vast majority in South Sudan? I think more education should flow to parents and girls in South Sudan, where we can establish a strong groundwork for women liberation or enlightenment. Illiteracy can't be fought outside the country but in the place where it has deep roots, and that is South Sudan.

Further, would keeping away the women or girls from their families, cultures, traditions, norms, and relatives be the right way to help them get better education or discover the truth? Would it mean that resettling them or isolating them from parents would help them better educated than being with their parents or relatives? I am not against UNHCR representative concern; nevertheless, I am of opinion that programs should be formed to educate parents and the communities on the issue of the girls' education. I can't affirm that it is the best way to do it but it would be better than encouraging resettlement or isolation, if they could help parents and community understand the importance of the girls education over that of early marriage. Parents ought to be educated on these issues and not necessarily making a decision out of their consents.

Thanks,

Garang Aher

Kuot Kuot · Major Contributor

Ladies and gents,

I can see that emotions are getting high, may I reiterate my request that we don't take this issue personal. I know this topic is culturally sensitive; it can easily plunge us into unintended confrontation if we don't approach it with an open mind. We should also understand that there can be no “cultural refugees”, in other words, resettlement is not a solution to the girls’ problem in the camp; it is a problem which requires solution from the society. I hope you will understand my request.

Diing Dhan,

Calm down bwana, I can vision you in absolute rage; don't take this thing personal, the problem is not between you and Ms Atem, it is a societal problem. Make her understand your point of view in a polite way. The language you used above is quite confrontational; I advise you to discontinue using such language and instead help her see where she is missing the point. I hope you will understand what I mean. Thanks.

Dhor Aher,

You made a very compelling argument which is worth commenting on. I would like to start by agreeing with you that education in refugee camps particularly Kakuma was free and opened to every refugee. Steps were in fact taken by different NGOs operating in Kakuma to encourage girls’ education. Nevertheless girls ended up dropping out of school in unprecedented numbers. I should also agree with you that girls in Kakuma were more concerned with making themselves more beautiful than pursuing education. All these are facts that are there for everyone to see.

However, let’s look at the bigger picture of this issue. If we analysis this situation in the context of the larger society, we will find that this problem had/has more to do with the system/culture than with the girls themselves. If we look for instance, at what our society expected of girls, we shall discover that our society put more emphasis on girls’ “physical bodies-beauty” than on their intellectual growth. Majority of Dinka parents are concerned with making their daughters more beautiful with a view to attracting wealthy suitors. Education has never been a priority, I belief you are familiar with the idea that, a girl doesn’t need to study because her (future) husband’s education belongs to both of them. A girl who is made to belief this will have no reason to study other than making sure that she "marries an educated man".

This belief is highly internalized by majority of our girls; all they are concerned with is to look beautiful, no more no less. They have also internalized that education is for the boys, the would-be future husbands. So girls find it more of a waste of time to sit in class for years when her education "won’t count" when she gets married as our society makes us belief. This is to say that our society has made us belief that every woman is supposed to be “house-wife,” who doesn’t have to be learned.

The point I am trying to make here is that, the problem goes back to our cultural beliefs and values, what our society expects of girls is what they are doing in the camp: making themselves look beautiful and wait for someone to marry them and become “house-wives.” I think this can be discouraged. As pointed out by Garang Aher earlier, there is a need for increased parental education and communal awareness on these vital issues. Parents need to be made to understand that their daughters can do more than just being “goods” waiting to be sold when they come of age. Parents need to realize that their daughters have the same level of competence as that of boys, that their daughters can make doctors, politicians and other prominent figures in our society like boys. It is only after coming into this realization shall we be assured of breaking our cultural bondage. Best wishes.

Kuot Kuot.

-- Edited by Kuot Kuot at 19:50, 2005-02-25