Never Marry A Journalist!

It is a fact that journalists, or call them scribes, form an integral part in our society because they help to inform, educate and entertain the masses. Mass media also forms the fourth estate of government because journalists help to check the evils in society and contribute a lot in controlling the minds of the people.  That said, today we will tell you why you should never marry a journalist. The findings are very interesting.

Broke ar*es.

Journalists are the most broke people on this planet. An account of a journalist is always in red because they are paid peanuts. A journalist should never lie to you that they are paid a seven figure salary.  A journalists account always has Shs500,000 on the last working day of the month, Shs250, 000 by the 5th of the month, Shs70, 000 by the 10th then from 15th it is always back to the normal minimum balance of Shs10, 000. Most journalists cannot even afford to buy themselves beer. From January to December, they always have excuses of the bosses have not paid us.  Those who have cars cannot afford to fuel them, because most often, they have run out of fuel in the middle of the road. If you marry him, you will live miserably for the rest of your life.

Mean.

Journalists are also known for being mean. If a journalist takes out, he will only buy you one beer and that will be the end of the story. When you are at a drinking joint, he will not offer you a round. They also like free things as if they are kids.

Proud.

Whenever you meet them around town, journalists are always feeling sweet. Simply put, bematila nyo. They always want to be on top of this world and want to be respected all the time. When he is in the newsroom, the usual talk is about the beautiful babe he took to the beach the other weekend and the posh house he is constructing in up market Kololo. However, all this is simple talk.

Casanovas.

These fellows have shafted the whole town. They like entering holes and a journalists slogan is to date, bonk and dump. They also like shafting on credit and can never commit themselves to any relationship! This is the reason why most of them take long to marry. Most journalists have refused to marry because they can afford to date a different babe each week.

There is also a lot of in-bonking (zero grazing) in several newsrooms. Sometimes they like intimidating gals to give them Kandahar. Anything to do with bedminton matters; they have a credit on this one. For the female ones, the reverse is also VERY true because most of them have been bonked on credit and left for dead. Actually, research shows that most of the female journo are very dry. And you know statistics dont lie!

Wolokoso.

These journo spend most of their time talking a lot. They are very cunning like foxes and have a lot of lugezigezi. Scribes are very sharp and if you are not careful, they can easily diddle you in just one second and take off.

PR masters.

These fellows depend on predictions of getting PR. Most journalists leave their homes in the morning without knowing where the next meal will come from. They are always praying that PR comes their way during the course of the day. Most of them cannot even write sensible stories because they have been eaten up by the PR viruses. They also like intimidating people in town with words like if you dont do this and that, I will write a bad story about you.

Drunkards.

These guys like drinking and they can catch a swallow from morning to evening. Booze has actually taken a toll on most of them to the extent of failing to perform in bed. Some of their women have been forced to run away from their homes because these fellows have failed to give them a thorough beating down there. Many of them have been photographed dosing in bars in the wee hours of the morning as if they dont have comfortable beds back in their homes. Mind you, most of this beer they drink is just free beer. It should not surprise you that when you go to their newsrooms, you find most of them nursing a terrible hangover.

Gluttons.

They also like eating a lot. When you go to a function, you can get ashamed of the way these fellows hog chimera. They are always fighting for food at functions as if they are villagers. Thats why some of us dont like attending bashes for journalists in order not to get ashamed. They are not organized at all.

Not credit worthy.

Journalists are not good at paying debts. If you make a mistake and give him some credit, it is as good as counting it a loss because the fellow will never pay it back. And he will not get ashamed to come back to you for some other loan. They easily forget, that is how mean they can be.

STRENGTHS.

Intelligent.

Journalists are, however, intelligent and sharp. They like reading a lot and getting involved in debates. If you marry a journalist, he will produce for you brilliant kids.

Smart.

Journalists like nice things, suites and designer clothes. They like modern stuff like posh cars although most of them dont have enough money to buy them. They also like living a posh life.